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lyrics

The makeup company called for you
They said they had some gifts
I said, "Your timing's impeccable
Her birthday's on June 5."

They said they already knew that
And your mother's maiden name
I said "You're creeping me out now
And I think she'd feel the same."

"Well, if you don't want us to know these things,"
they said, "why'd you tell us?"
I said "This conversation's over."
They said "You're just jealous."
I said "I want to talk to your supervisor."
They said "Fine, can I have your name?"

The makeup company called me back
The boss was on the line
She said her name was Gladys
I wouldn't tell her mine

She expressed apologies
And said she'd take the blame
For the conduct of her subordinate
Then she called me by my name

"Well, if you don't want us to know these things,"
she said "why'd you tell us?"
I said "I didn't tell you anything!"
She said "Are you jealous
of the power of our omniscience?"
I said "I don't even live here."

The makeup company follows me
Everywhere I go
They tell me things about myself
I don't even know

Still, I don't feel envious
Maybe that's the key
It's like Gladys and her underlings
Are just showing off for me

"Well, if you don't want us to know these things,"
they say "why'd you tell us?"
I say "You've really got low self-esteem."
They say "You're just jealous."
I say "Why don't you try to sell me something?"
They say "The makeup's just a front."

The makeup company called for you
They said they had some gifts

credits

from The Reluctant Hook (and the day that caught it), track released July 1, 2009

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Tad Dreis Keene, New Hampshire

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